Thought to Ponder : Expectations
Expectations. What you have set in your mind as to how people should interact with you. When expectations of friends, family, and/or lovers aren’t met you feel used, humiliated, resentful, distant, and even defensive.
Why? Because the person didn’t turn how we wanted them to.
I remember a homie telling me that people don’t hurt people… that people’s expectations of people are what hurt people.
Ever since that moment my life has been changed. It’s not just that simple as implied above. I no longer expect people to be nice, or expect people to love. You can’t walk around living your life waiting a thank you every time you do something for someone. You have to open your heart up with a pessimism that as easy as this person has made the choice to love you, it can be just as easy for them to break your heart.
That saying they teach when you are little “do unto others as you would want them to do unto you” should be rephrased with the disclaimer… do unto others as you would want them to do unto you, but don’t expect them to do you the same way.
Remember when we were taught to be overachievers? To exceed expectations? I wish someone had told me that this notion only seems to happen when it comes to academia and not any other aspect of a person’s life.
You have to live your life allowing people to be themselves and then deciding if what they present is good enough for you and if it’s something you can deal with.
In the same token… how can you can go into any situation not expecting to be respected in the least bit?
“Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day and every decade worth looking forward to.”
“Set your expectations high; find men and women whose integrity and values you respect; get their agreement on a course of action; and give them your ultimate trust.”
The ultimate battle is deciding what things in your heart you feel are important to expect of others and not deal with them if they can’t meet them, but not set them so high that no one will ever be able to meet them. Le sigh! Then there’s this…
I’m so confused! Do I expect it hopes it will come true or do I….